© 2015 Random Writer

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Spoiler free – go and see this film. Really, it’s very good, lots of action, adventure and funny bits, hurry up before someone tells you all about it.

With spoilers – this film didn’t need any of the old cast, it was actually brilliant before any of them turned up. Finn, an ex-Stormtrooper who finds Rae, an abandoned child, on a desert planet.

Rae has previous encountered BB8, a spherical droid who happens to have the location of Luke Skywalker who has disappeared after losing one of his students to the dark side. Not just any student, his nephew, Leia and Han’s son. He’s grown up with a passion for his grandfather, the late great Darth Vader – his charred helmet is his beside charm.

There are flaws in this film (why bother sucking all the life out of a sun to blast away a planet when you could just suck all the life out of a sun?) and one massive what the fuck?? NOOOOOOOO but it’s still a great film and one I’ll go back and see again. I don’t know what Chewie did to annoy JJ Abrams but he didn’t get much to do, though I guess Rae needed to be the co-pilot of the FalconĀ to drive her story.

Originally I didn’t want to see the midnight showing because I hate full cinemas but I realised that if I didn’t go, I’d either read or hear some major plot point that would ruin the film for me and given what I know now, I’m glad I did (still, NOOOOOOOO).

There were plenty of people dressed up but not everyone had grasped that a sold out midnight showing over every screen in the cinema with about 5 minutes between start times would mean having to get there early to get snacks. So at 00:02 (the start time we were promised) the trailer for Star Trek paused and an announcement went across the complex that the film would start in 5 minutes to let everyone get on i.e. buy expensive popcorn). Then a second message went out that they would wait again for everyone to get in. The cinema could have done something to fix this in advance but obviously hadn’t thought that far ahead. All this time the Star Trek logo was on the screen which was a little incongruous.

Finally the film started and despite the member of staff who came in every 20 minutes and came up the stairs and walked around the room to check no one was filming (the night-goggles must have been broken) it was a disturbance-free film. Weirdly, the seats around me were empty despite being booked so I hope that there aren’t some people who are going to turn up at midnight today to find the cinema closed.

Really finally – Han? Really? Did you have to do that? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

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